7.21.2005

Seething

I'm trying. As God is my witness, I am trying. My anger is boiling. And as I spent nearly thirty minutes at the boiling point with the copier complete with Miss Piggy type frustration, a coworker walks by. Noticing that I put my jacket back on (because I had to meet a client), she says, "Glad to see you finally put some clothes on." She took maybe three steps, and I could feel the intense hatred and glare on my face. I just wanted to scream, "Fuck you!"

Another one of my coworkers commented the other day that she had never seen me pissed off before. The close friend that was with me later asked how on earth I ever hid that. I keep telling her that work Jeni is very different from real Jeni. Although, real Jeni has been having a really difficult time suppressing her real self.

I remember being this angry on birth control. All the time. The tiniest, slightest thing would immediately set me off. It took me several months to recognize it. I can recall being at a department store paying for an item when my then boyfriend came up behind me and put his hand in my back pocket. I wanted to put his head on a spit. I huffed at him and told him to leave me alone. As I walked away, I thought to myself, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

So what the hell is wrong with me now?

1 Comments:

Anonymous Andrew said...

Hey there,

It sounds to me that your co-worker was being hateful right? Implying that what you had was inappropriate? So that's pretty normal to get mad. Now you could argue that your anger was out of whack compared to how angry you thought you should have been.

Who knows? Sometimes I find myself getting really mad over something so stupid and...I think it's just human nature.

10:01 PM  

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