“I’m losing you, and it’s effortless.”

I spent most of today driving from Memphis to Atlanta. While I dreaded this trip because I knew that I would be making it alone and starting it in the morning, which tends to be my worst time of day, it’s turned out to be a pretty good one. I found a partner in my drive a little before crossing the Georgia state line. I only wish that he had been with me the whole time. When I say “partner,” what I really mean is a “man with a plan.” You see, that’s what it’s called. You either have to follow the man with plan or you are the man with plan. We kept switching that title back and forth, and a few times, one of us got cock blocked, but we watched out for other, even when we were driving 115 mph. I first noticed my partner because he was kind of hot; then I noticed he wasn’t wearing a shirt, wherein I tried to reason that he was working on his suntan because his sunroof was opened. My only other option would be because his family had inbred, and I didn’t like thinking about that one too much. Either way, as we tagged one another, and I was whooping his ass with a pretty bad beating, he finally caught up beside me. I glanced over and realized he was trying to talk. But as my brother-in-law and I just noticed the other day, I can’t talk and drive at the same time. If I couldn’t do it then, driving at 40 mph, I certainly couldn’t do it at 95 mph. So after a few attempts, he gave up, but I still appreciated his company.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this city—what she means to me and what I would be giving up to live here. I missed out on an evening of fine company, martinis, and good stories just by taking this trip. While I consider myself as quite the introvert, I don’t want to take my friendships in Memphis for granted. I’ve worked my part-time job for almost seven years, and in those seven years, it’s taken me some time to cultivate good friendships with fellow co-workers. I finally feel like I’m on the inner circle because I’ve managed to stay around and become an old-timer with them.

It’s rare that I can run an errand in my home city without seeing a familiar face, and sometimes those fateful meetings ignite such love from me, especially when it’s someone that I was once so close to, like a former coworker from my days at The Limited or something.

These certainly aren’t reasons that I wouldn’t move; I guess they are reasons that I will be leaving part of my heart behind in Memphis. For better or worse, Memphis is my past. She is full of rich, vivid memories—some great and some not so great. But ever since I laid eyes on Atlanta, she’s always whispered that she had my future.

I have visited here so much that it often feels like home when I get here. I know the smell of the W Hotel like most know the smell of their children. Despite the fact I have driven up and down Peachtree a hundred times, I am constantly soaking up everything I can on it. I read street signs like they are gospel and say them over and over again in my head. It’s as though my brain becomes a sponge the minute I cross over the time change.

I look at this city like she is my long, lost lover and I might never see her again. If I could memorize every curve of her body and shadow that she cast; where she swells and where she dips; how she moves and how she sleeps…just to hear her breathe. She is my love.


Anonymous Anonymous said...


Hey. How are you doing? Sorry I haven't posted more on your site of late although I still read it. I always think, 'oh, I'll comment next time' and then I don't. But this post was really cool so I had to say something...

I guess you are going to Atlanta for your haircut? Hopefully they won't cut it too short like the last time. I did notice a picture of yours from last month that your hair looked like it was getting kind of long.

But back to the post, are you seriously thinking about moving to Atlanta? My last trip to Atlanta was a year ago this week. I think this is a nice time of year in the south. It's refreshingly warm w/o being oppresively hot.

Hope all is well with you. Things in Missouri are going well I guess. I've been traveling a lot of late. I went to St Louis last weekend. I've also been to DC and Colorado in the back 6 weeks or so.

More Later.


11:22 PM  
Blogger Jeni said...

I'm more than "thinking" this time about Atlanta. I was there for a long weekend for a second interview with my company. I actually found a position that is perfectly geared towards my college degree. Who knew they made such jobs? And who knew they were available where I already worked? I'm still waiting on the official word, but I should know something soon.

I'm jealous you've been to CO. I am dying to go there. I think I would fall in love with that state, and it might cause my heart some serious confusion.

I'm glad things are good for you. Shoot me email sometime. And thanks for the post, too!

Take Care, Andrew.

9:57 AM  

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