Top 10 Ways I See Myself Going

(1) Alcohol asphyxiation thanks to my need to clean & sterilize.
(2) Shot with my last words consisting of "my fiance."
(3) Run over in a parking lot for darting in front of yet, another car.
(4) Tornado.
(5) Toxic inhalation of Downy's Clean Breeze scented products.
(6) Broken neck via the polished brick staircase to my office.
(7) Spontaneous combustion because that's always a possibility.
(8) I die waiting because it really does kill me.
(9) Calcium cyst the size of Texas. No explanation necessary.
(10) I turn into a Pringle.


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