5.02.2003

All that I Believe

I feel very fidgety today. I can't really get to the "why" of how I feel. I usually have things to do or places to go, but right now I have nothing hanging over my head. I think that just leaves me restless and wondering about what it is that I've forgotten. And strangely, for the past two days, I've been wanting to give love. There are few times when I miss having a boyfriend. I think relationships typically knot my stomach up...in a not so good way. So, again, it's rare that I even miss the physicalities. I used to think of myself as a loving person, but as time wears on me, I feel like that aspect of me has been chiseled away. That's probably a sad thing to say, really, and it definitely flies in the face of those that say people don't change. I'm living proof that you do, even when you may not necessarily seek the mutation.

Life happens around every moment of every day, and sometimes experiences shake your beliefs in people, the world, and yourself. Foundations can crumble, and you find yourself starting all over again. You realize you're never as sure-footed as what you thought, and that's okay. You may have fallen on your ass, but once you realize everyone has or will at some point, you find your foundation again. The good thing about life is that it's all that you believe it to be. Nothing less and nothing more.

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