I Really Didn't Mean to Make This Post All About Me

So, tonight, I returned to a semi-urgent message on my machine. I returned the phone call even though it was late only to hear that one of my closest friends has done The Deed: she's gotten engaged. After about fifteen minutes of conversation, she informs me that the wedding will most likely be in the end of January. Holy crap. Could that be any sooner? Is she going to sprint down the isle?

I called my other closest friend to tell her the news. As our discussion carried on, I suddenly started to realize I am most likely going to have to be a part of this planning, and be, like, in the wedding. I hate weddings. I can't stand the very idea of them. The planning, the dress, the people, the showers, blah, blah, blah. Someone kill me now. About the only thing that I have ever enjoyed in a wedding is the CAKE. Cake interests me. In fact, that's really all I'm thinking about when I go to a wedding. I am careful to linger long enough to get the cake, and then, I like, totally jet.

People, I am not wired for romance or weddings or public declarations of love. That just disgusts me. Women, how do you do it? I can think of nothing more embarrassing than standing up in a room full of people all looking directly at me and attempting to declare love to the guy standing directly across from me.

I so hope that a wedding is never, ever in my future.


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