I Nearly Cracked My Vagina for This Man

And no, the title wasn't really meant to just tease you. I went to see Rob Thomas at the Orpheum in St. Louis. My seats were horrible, so I thought I could walk along the chairs to gain access to the isle. I was doing quite well, and as I remembered to look out for the arm rests in my high heeled shoes, my left leg slipped through the back of the chair, flipping it up. My crotch bone landed with a thud onto the front tip of the chair. I noted some pain in my right knee, and realized the pain in my crotch hadn't been felt like that in almost two decades. But all I could do was laugh. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't lift myself off of the chair for a few seconds.

As I managed to get up, I had to sneak down the isle with security giving me the stink eye. Later in the show, I found a much better spot. The above shot was actually taken with my Canon Powershot S500; however, I also took some with an older 35mm camera that has seriously obscene zooming capabilities. In fact, one of the girls at the concert did a double take and said, "Wow, that's a zoom lens." My problem with the older camera is that I don't have the option to adjust the shutter speed. At concerts, it's incredibly difficult to take pictures. Between the artistic colored lighting and being hundreds of feet away, your subject looks like a spec. If you use the zoom, the shutter time has to be decreased in order to keep the subject from becoming a huge blur. I have plenty of evidence to prove this truth should anyone ever argue with me. However, my new camera is really, really bad at zooming.

Anyway, I can think of few people worth splitting my girl parts for. I am really hoping some of my other shots came out. If not, this picture is really the only decent one I captured.


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