Having this blog has been kind of neat, I must admit. But lately, people have been giving me their opinions on it, which in turn, gives me mixed feelings. I didn't start writing this blog for any reason other than myself. I have bought numerous diaries and journals in my life, only to write in them three times and give up. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and my own handwriting drives me insane. Mistakes that cannot be lifted from the page cause my mouth to twist in frustration. Typing has been my answer since I was in fourth grade. So the progression to an online journal was a natural one for me.

Having other people read this website doesn't really bother me. Mainly because I don't know who is reading this journal unless they either tell me or email me, and each time, I find myself suddenly surprised and slightly alarmed. My immediate reaction is worry--judgment of some sort.

My sister has been pouring over this website. She and I don't have a very good relationship. It's good if we talk about once a month and we probably both prefer the conversation be kept under thirty minutes. We just clash, and we really always have. In her spiteful, loving way, she continually questions why I haven't mentioned certain things or people on this website--people who have influenced me in great ways, (and by great, she means boys that have torn my heart in two and then returned to stomp on it).

All I can say is that I have made very conscious decisions on what I write here. This blog is me, for better or worse. It's how I see things around me. I imagine most blogs are like that. If you are shocked by what you read, then perhaps you should be. You are, after all, peering into a part of myself that I do not often reveal. I would hope that you wouldn't look behind the current and say, "Oh, I totally knew that was there."

So, this is me. Exposed. There you have it.


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