On the Cusp of Something

Do you ever read things and immediately experience an overwhelming sense of sadness, so much so, that you feel your heart literally break for just a few seconds?

I was reading a magazine that listed this website. It is supposed to have cool mixes of songs, which you can see here. I scrolled down to read the titles of of the mixes and caught this one.

"Songs to help you get through losing both your parents when you're only 20 years old"

Yeah, my heart broke. Truly, it did. I nearly cried.

There's also an article on Salon about Wilco. The introduction was, "He is trying to break our hearts," and for some reason, I immediately felt mine tugged.

It's been years since I've experienced true, heart wrenching heartbreak. For some reason, that feeling seems so incredibly distant, like a dream I dreamt ten years ago. Every now & again, something pops up and reminds me of what that felt like. That heavy, insurmountable, crushing, breath-stealing, I cannot-see-past-this-moment feeling. The tears that flow in every moment of silence. I kind of miss feeling that alive. It's an inspiring time for me. I close up, and I live inside that moment, paralyzed. There's really nothing else like it. You want to go back; you need a do-over, and yet, you are unable to move forward. You are completely stagnant, and nothing seems to capable of budging you.


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