Because Being Single Sucks?

No, actually, I don't believe that. I never have. I think both sides have trade-offs, like when I was with my newly married best friend at Target, and she had to phone her husband to ask permission to buy something. I thought, "Please, don't ever let that be me, unless we're talking about a number with several zeros behind it."

One of my bosses was in my office with another coworker and she just started talking about me like I wasn't here. I've been dieting since August, and people can I tell you how strongly I don't believe in dieting? I hate the word diet. I'm a stubborn bull who likes the good things in life, like chocolate and Pringles with skim milk. That is a balanced breakfast for me. But anyway, I managed to lose some weight, and every one keeps telling me how great I look. And as they were saying that this morning in my presence, my boss said, "I'm going to fix her up with someone, but I haven't told her yet." And I said, "Um, I can hear you. Who are you trying to fix me up with?" And she said, "My son-in-law." (Yeah, it took me a minute too. I don't reverse family trees well at all. I learned this at my grandfather's funeral last year. I needed a map of our lineage.) So, after I said, "Yeah, um what? How do you have a single son-in-law?" She meant step-son. Big difference, don't you think.

And I hate being set up. My last set up with an obviously GAY GUY who LIKED SHOWTUNES, drove a GIRLY TRUCK, and CRIED at the movie we saw, which I hated. Please note I've seen him several times with a Banana Republic bag in tote at Pottery Barn and shopping with another BOY. Newsflash: Men don't shop, and if they do, they don't do it together. Hello? Oh, and he admitted that he loved blind dates and kids. I thought he needed to work on his hetero-cover-up a little bit more.


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