I can remember loving someone so much, that I couldn't fathom how to express it. I wanted to be so close to them that it took everything in me to let them go. I memorized the tiniest of details about them, but the one I treasured the most, was their smell. The other night, before I fell asleep, as my thoughts bounced around, I found myself thinking of one of my exes, and for a split second, I could smell his house. I started to recall the smell of syrup and cool, morning breezes that swept through his parent's home. On Sundays, his father would cook maple sausage, which would linger in the house and always made me crave waffles or pancakes. They also had six large dogs that were mainly indoors, so they would shampoo their carpets and leave the windows open to dry them out. Their house was always so bright and cheerful. I smiled at these thoughts and inhaled again, but the smell was gone.

On Saturday, when my date picked me up & I got into his car, I could smell my ex's old 4-Runner. I didn't know if he was wearing the same cologne or it was something he used to clean his car. I inhaled until I couldn't smell it anymore. It relaxed and warmed me. I closed my eyes for a minute just to think of him. The memories felt so tangible.

He married shortly after we broke up and is now a father. When we see each other, there isn't a person in the room who could tell we even know one another. On occasion, when I have been forced to look at him, I look through him like a ghost. The pain from our break up was short lived, but somehow, it lingers ever so slightly. I haven't spoken to him in six years. There is a good chance he doesn't ever think of me, but sometimes, you don't realize where your thoughts will lead you, or in this case, certain scents.

"It was a beautiful letdown when I crashed and burned."--Switchfoot


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