Go Forth & Read*

I found this website yesterday. I've been reading the archives as quickly as I can, but I just must encourage others to love this blog as much as I already do.

Two quick excerpts from Tom Bartlett's blog, Minor Tweaks:

March 28, 2006
The list of demands my advance team sends to hotels before I arrive

-- The curtains in Tom's room should not close completely. He likes to be awakened by a harsh shaft of sunlight across his face.

-- Remove the batteries from the remote control (or insert dead ones). Tom prefers to change channels the old-fashioned way.

-- If you put an alarm clock in the room, find one that's nearly impossible to set. Tom enjoys a challenge.

-- The temperature in the room should be either sweltering or arctic. Nothing in-between will do.

-- The bedding should smell vaguely of other people's sweat. Tom finds this comforting.

-- Tom likes little bottles of shampoo and very small pieces of soap. The tinier, the better.

January 10, 2006
What I Plan To Embellish For Obvious Dramatic Reasons In My Own Forthcoming Memoir

From The Smoking Gun website, on evidence that James Frey, author of "A Million Little Pieces," invented much of his life story:

But during these interviews, Frey did, for the first time, admit that he had embellished central details of his criminal career and purported incarceration for "obvious dramatic reasons" in the nonfiction work.

-- An argument with my roommate over dish duty will become a heroin-fueled knife fight in some dimly lit, garbage-strewn back alley.

-- That parking ticket will now be two years in "the hole."

-- Instead of mostly ignoring me, the girl I liked in high school will be eaten by a shark while I look on in dumbstruck horror.

-- My fondness for hot tea will turn into a nasty coke habit.

-- Rather than breaking my finger while trying to squash a cricket with my shoe, I will have my arm blown off by, say, a missile.

-- Instead of following the normal rules of capitalization, I will randomly capitalize common Nouns in order to seem Artsy and Profound even though it's actually just an annoying Tic.

*Just remember where you came from.

And another thing, if there is stuff out there that is THIS GOOD, you should totally email me the blog. I definitely need to know things like that.


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