Friendly, Indeed


Can You Feel the Love?

"Come with me. I need you to do something on the computer."
"Oh, for the love of God. 'How do I capitalize a letter?'"
"Listen bitch, get your ass in here."
"Watch it. I have a sharp object in my hand."
"Sort this spreadsheet for me."
"Je-Sus. Why can't you learn how to do this? And who the hell made this ugly ass spreadsheet? They don't know what they're doing."
"If I learn how to do your job, do you really think I'll keep you around?"
"Yes, because you're lazy."
"Oh my gosh--Don't hit me!"
"Well, it that ain't Aunt Jemima calling Uncle Tom a nigger!"


A Shot in the Dark


With High Praise

I recommend: this.
Dad, Don't Read Any Further

Turning the Table:

As I'm trailing a co-worker back to my office, she turns around and throws a fun-loving punch in my face. I started to laugh and said, "Good morning. How was your weekend? Did you get any?"
Married, she replies, "No, that's why I'm in such a good mood."
Totally unsympathetic, I said, "Yeah, you should just let me borrow him."
"You don't want him."
"I'll give him back. I don't want to keep him."
"He doesn't last long enough."
"Are you sure? I'm quite fast. I'll probably be done before him. Then, he'll know what you feel like all the time."
She starts to laugh.
"Wouldn't that be a bitch?"
"For him, it would be."


My Sister

My sister and I aren't close. She's kind of, well, she's weird to me. You can read about how weird, here. My parents and I were eating lunch together yesterday, and they inquired if I'd heard what my sister did to my brother-in-law. I told them I hadn't.

She basically fed him food that she knew was SPOILED, which left him lurching over the toilet for an entire night. He ate some meat that had been in the fridge for an undisclosed (read: LONG) period of time and some chocolate chip cookies from dough that I prepared for her. The dough was mixed together some time before Christmas, and these cookies were probably baked about two, maybe three days ago.

The really sad part is that we were all horrified at what my sister did. My mother stated that my sister didn't really care. She thinks your body just expels spoiled contents in various (though disgusting and unpleasant) ways, but that you get "used to it."

Then my dad brought up a better point, "He could have just said no."

True. But I think about that moment in time when she pulled that shit on me. I was over at her apartment some years ago and spied a cookie from the Cookie Co. still in the original paper sleeve. Being the lover of all things made from sugar, I said, "Ohhh, can I have this cookie?" When my sister replied that I could, I should have known to step away from the cookie. She's not normally nice, and this is the same girl that wouldn't share her Crayola® crayons or her stone-washed denim with me back in the 80s. Why is she sharing a dessert now? So, I proceeded to take a bite of the cookie, and it broke off into my mouth with a hard thud, nearly damaging my pearly whites. I said, "Oh, dear God. Is this to cookie that I bought you WEEKS ago?" She giggled, "Yeah."


And to think, I almost left the camera at home.


Behind the Curtain


"Chronic Fatigue"

I was thinking about my job today, and I realized what I am uncomfortable with here. In every job that I have worked since I was sixteen, I have been selling. I don't pride myself on being a seller either, mainly because I'm not able to show great excitement and happiness. I am polite and courteous, yes, but I don't have that certain je ne sais quoi it takes to truly sell or excel in selling.

This job is the first one where I've had to use customer service, but somehow, on the same token, I am also the adversary for the customer. It's just a tight rope to walk. We are still a business, and in running a business you are forced to be polite and give great customer service. After all, it's about giving the customer what they what, when they want, and how they want it, but we can't exactly do that here. I've never had to work so hard to decipher situations. I can't really speak specifically what I am talking about, but it's almost like working with a car dealer sometimes. There is this constant feeling that you are being lied to, and do you really want to investigate the customer's story or do you just want to be done with it? Because, you are there for the customer, and you are doing your best to protect them & look out for them, but they don't always view it that way, so they can be very cunning. Just because you know this quality about them though, doesn't mean you always have the heart to fight with them. It's exhausting, but it's kind of our legal duty.

I'm aware that this post makes very little sense, but it's something I have observed. I guess it's that feeling of finally putting my finger on what I don't like about this job. This situation closely mirrors a past relationship where I dealt with serial lying. I guess I just get where I don't even care that someone is lying to me. I just want the situation to die down. The hunt is exhausting at times.


Gateway to the West or Maybe it was the Gateway to Gloom


Goodbye 2005

I wish for things silently. I wish for them like I were still a little girl, and somehow, if I believe hard enough, they will come true. I will still look at the sky and pretend that there is someone that listens to my heart. I wish for things that would sometimes hurt me as consequence. I try to wish bigger than my own needs, but my own needs always find their way into my wish list.

I wish people would have more heart. I wish we would listen longer and talk slower. I wish we could find more sympathy for one another. I wish we could all see the greatness we have. I wish we weren't afraid. I wish we would give until it hurts. I wish we all got a second chance. I wish we'd stopping keeping secrets. I wish we'd sing a little louder and love a little stronger. I wish we didn't covet. I wish we wouldn't lose sight of what's important.

I wish you'd have a good New Year's.